Lord of the Xgenes
by Cajun Charmer
Summary: Parody of The Lord of the Rings, with the ever faithful Xmen evolution charcters. I can see in the dark Ray Oh, that was....strange,anyway, ROMY SAMARA JOTT mentioned, see what you think of the cast first, I'll write the rest later!
1. The Cast

**Lord of The X-genes!**

Okay, this is a parody of Lord of the Rings with X-men evolution characters, this may be good, may be bad, who knows, it's your decision, review, the cast list, see if it's to your liking, tell me any positions I should change, please, want this to be perfect, perfect but funny.

Cajun Charmer:Okay I've changed a few things, Ray is no longer Bilbo, the sentinels are no longer the ents. And also, the first chapter is up!

_**Starting with the most obvious:**_

_**Aragorn/Strider………….Scott Summers AKA Cyclops**_

_**Arwen……………………Jean Grey AKA uhhh……Jean…….Grey?**_

_**Frodo Baggins………… Roberto DaCosta AKA Sunspot**_

_**Samwise Gamgee………Samuel Guthrie AKA Cannonball**_

_**Gandalf the Grey………Charles Xavier AKA Professor X**_

_**Merry Brandybuck…….Robert Drake AKA Iceman**_

_**Pippin Took……………Jamie Madrox AKA Multiple**_

_**Bilbo Baggins…………..Forge **_

_**Boromir………………..Duncan AKA Jean's First boyfriend **_

_**Gimli………………….Logan AKA Wolverine**_

_**Legolas………………. Warren Worthington III AKA Angel**_

_**Saruman………………Eric Magnus Lensher AKA Magneto **_

_**Galadriel……………..Ororo Monroe AKA Storm**_

_**Theoden……………..Hank McCoy AKA Beast**_

_**Eomer……………….Kurt Wagner AKA Nightcrawler**_

_**Eowyn……………..I Dunno AKA Rogue**_

_**Gollum/Smeagul….Todd Tolensky AKA Toad**_

_**Treebeard…………Piotr Rasputin AKA Collossus**_

_**Faramir…………..Remy Lebeau AKA Gambit**_

_**Denethor………… Principle Kelly AKA Bad guy**_

_**Elrond……………Irene Adler AKA Destiny**_

_**Sauron………….. Apocalypse**_

_**Wormtongue……..Raven Darkholme AKA Mystique **_

_**King of the dead…Callisto**_

_**Undead Army……..The Morlocks Wooooo!**_

_**Faramir's Rangers….Guild of Thieves**_

_**Riders of Rohan……Jamie's Clones**_

_**Minas Titith soldiers…Jamie's Clones**_

_**All these guys wear the apropriate clothes.**_

_**Uruk-hai army………Jamie's Clones**_

_**Orks of Mordor……..Jamie's Clones**_

_**Haldir………………Evan Daniels AKA Spyke**_

_**Mouth of**_

_**Sauron……………..Jason Wynguard AKA Mastermind**_

_**Balrog…………….John Allerdyce AKA Pyro (Y'know, his big firey beasty thing)**_

_**Mumkil………….Sentinals**_

_**Numerous trolls…..Evan Daniels AKA Dickhead and Fred Dukes AKA Blob **_

_**Gothmog………………Juggernaut**_

_**Lurtz………………….Quicksilver….I've gone for a different look.**_

_**Witchking………..Mesmero**_

_**Gamling………….Lance Alvers AKA Avalanche**_

_**Isildur…………..Corsair (Scott's dad)**_

_**C'mon not all of you can like this, o, complain dammit!**_


	2. The Forging of the 140 Rings

The Forging of the Rings 

Okay, the tale starts here, many years ago, Middle-Westchester was a peacful place, with flowers and rabbits and little creatures called gnomes. T'was a happy place then, all those years ago. But then, the rings of power were made, don't ask me how, don't ask me why, they just were. 

Three for the elves…

Seven for the dwarves…

Nine for the kings of men…

Twenty five for Barry and his followers…

Ninety six for Heath Ledger

But were all of them deceived; in the flames of Bayville was the master, the deceiver, Apocolypse!

In the fires of that place he did create a master ring, and in it he poured his hate, his malice his will to dominate ferrets. With his army of orcs, he charged forward!

The flowers were killed, the rabbits, eaten, and the gnomes….stamped on for sport.

But there were some who resisted, a last alliance of elves and men…and ferrets came to meet them.

"Fire!" Adler shouted. Several scores of arrows penetrated the necks of the orcs.

"They will never give up, Corsair, there are too many of them, we are being overwhelmed!" Adler shouted over the war cries and screams. Corsair gave no answer, he stared into the darkness, it seemed to move, then, out of it came the deceiver, Apocolypse!

"Back!" Shouted Adler "Back!" Apocalypse created a barrier around himself, all who touched it were hurled backwards. Corsair charged forwards, with a small number of men by his side.

"Corsair! you shall be killed!" Shouted Adler.

Corsairs numbers were slaughtered, as his wife was thrown aside he went to her.

"Corsair, take care of Scott" She said. Corsair took her hand as she departed Middle-Westchester. He gazed up at Apocolypse, who was smiling down at him.

"You!" Corsair shouted "You killed my wife, you stamped on my gnome friend, you ate my rabbit!" He picked up his wife's broken sword. "And you destroyed my tulip garden!" He slashed at The Dark Lord's hand and with a defening scream, Apocolypse fell to the floor…dead!

The ring landed by Corsair's side, he picked it up, it seemed to shrink in size as he held it.

"Corsair!" Adler shouted "To the mountain of fire!"

Corsair nodded, and gazed down at the ring again.

"It's not my colour anyway" Corsair said, he struggled up and started towards Mount Doom.

They stood there, staring down at the lava below them.

"Throw it into the fire!" Adler shouted "Why do you hesitate?"

"Why is there a volcanoe in Bayville?" Asked Corsair.

"Hey.play along okay!" Irene whispered. "Chuck it into the fire!"

Corsair turned to her once again…."No" He walked away, his cloak billowing in the hot air.

"Corsair!" Adler shouted "You moron!"

_Behind the scenes!_

"Nicely done!" Shouted the Director.

"You think so…I mean…I think I could try maybe a gay Isildur" Corsair suggested.

"Talk me through it, Corsy" The director said, slightly confused.

"Well you know" Corsair cleared his throat "Why hello, Adler, it's jolly nice to meet you, oh, darling, your nails look fabulous!" Corsair looked hopfully at the director.

"I don't think so, Corsy"

"Oh well maybe, _slighty_ gay?" Corsair asked.

The director shook his head.

"Oh alright then"

_**Back to the film!**_

Corsair carried the ring for many years, he was a powerful leader, with an army of many thousand behind him. One thing he was not expecting, was an ambush!

"Corsair, the trees move in the strangest of ways this day, should we perhaps, turn back?" Corsair turned to face, Kelly.

"Kelly, if anything comes at us…we know we can face it" Corsair said laughing.

Suddenly, behind them, came screams, Kelly and Corsair turned to see a band of orc archers in the trees.

"Kelly! Draw your sword!" Kelly nodded, and charged, his sword in his hand. When everyone had turned their attention, Corsair dismounted his horse, and placed the ring on his finger, instantly he became invisible. He pushed through the tall grass into a river.

"Fall back, back to Minas Tirith!" Called Kelly. Corsair listened, he settled. But as he did, the ring struggled off his finger. He stared in dis-belief.

"No!" He said as he tried to grab it, it fell into the river and sunk to the bottom. He was now clearly visible and the orcs had heard him shout. Corsair got up and he found himself face to face with three hundred orcs with sharp sticks.

"Oh no" Corsair sighed.

Meanwhile in Minas Tirith..

"Father? Where is king Corsair?" Asked a little blonde boy.

"He didn't return, we can only assume he died in the ambush" Kelly answered.

"Sooo…does that mean you're now in charge?" The boy asked.

"Yes…yes I suppose it does!" Kelly smiled "After all, Scott is still a young boy, he can't do this"

"What happens when he comes of age, father?"

"He won't be here"

Scott was still only two years old, and he was carried deep into the woods, and left there. Two lonely days he slept and lived in the forest. Until someone came across him.

"Hello, young king" Adler said, picking him up. "Would you like to see Rivendell?"

Scott said nothing, he just stared at the strange woman.

_**Behind the scenes!**_

"Wait one moment!" Irene said.

"Yes?" The director said, rubbing his forehead.

"I've just been reading the book, and none of this is in here!" She shouted

"Well…" Started the director.

"And it was thousands of years ago, not a few!" She continued.

"Well, I simplified it so, I could cast it with more ease" The director said.

Irene stared at him.

"Come on, Irene, honey. Work with me please!"

"Alright" She said, she placed the book on the table and continued the scene.

_**On with the film!**_

The ring lay at the bottom of the river for many years…but was found….by the creature Todd. The ring tortured his mind for many more years. Until found by a very unlikely person.

"Woah! Look at this neat gizmo!" Forge shouted.

The inocent boy…Forge, of Bayville high.

"My prescious, yo, who took my precious!" Todd shouted, as his screams echoed through the cave.

"Uh oh, think I better get out of here!" Forge tucked the ring in his pocket and ran away.

That takes us to the beginning of my tale, Bayville High, place of pleasantries, young kids, who just want to have a good time.

"Hey, Ray, come look at this!" Shouted Rahne, holding a hose behind her back.

"Yeah, what is it?" Ray asked. Rahne soaked Ray, all the way through.

"C'mon Jamie, I know he's coming soon!" Bobby shouted, looking down the road!

"Really, did Forge say he was coming?" Jamie shouted back.

Sam, was standing in the middle of a field, with a rake in one hand, he was leaning on it.

"Sam? Are you going to the party tonight?" Amara asked, walking carfully through the mud.

"Yeah, I am…..why?" He asked nervously.

"Anyone you plan on asking?" Amara, blushed.

"Uhh..nope….don't think so" Sam, rubbed his neck.

"Oh…well..seeya tonight" Amara waved and ran off.

"Yeah" Sam said, and went back to farming his crops.

"You are so stupid!" Roberto said.

"Excuse me?" Sam asked, alittle offended.

"She was asking you out, you moron!" Roberto argued.

"Well…it just so happens..!" Sam started.

"Oh save it, I don't want an argument on Forge's birthday" Roberto said.

"Hmm" Sam continued farming.

A faint whistling could be heard, Sam stopped farming and tried listening harder. Then, Sam and Roberto looked at each other. Roberto smiled and ran off in the direction of the road.

He ran passed Bobby and Jamie.

"He's here, yay!" Bobby and Jamie hugged.

Roberto ran down the road and he saw a faint figure wheeling towards him.

"Hello!" Shouted roberto, standing in the middle of the road.

"Hmm…hello.." The Professor said, stopping his wheelchair just infront of Roberto.

_**Behind the Scenes!**_

"Hang on!" Shouted Roberto.

"What is it now?" The director said.

"How the hell did he travel all the way here in a wheelchair?" Roberto shouted.

"Magic"

"Oh"

_**On with the film!**_

"You're a tad late!" Roberto said, frankly.

"A Psychic is never late….nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to!" The Professor argued.

" Nope….your late….see" Roberto showed him his watch "Four fifteen, you were supposed to be here at three!"

"Oh, I am late then"

"Yep"

Roberto started to push the Professor's wheelchair through Bayville High.

"Forge has the whole place in an uproar and has invited everybody, apparently he has this big thing he wants to show us all" Roberto said.

"I wonder what it could be" The professor said in a knowing tone .

"Fine. Don't tell me" Roberto said.

"Sorry?"

"I know you have something to do with it" Roberto laughed.

"If you're talking about the chicken thing!" The Professor shouted.

"No" Roberto raised an eyebrow "What chicken thing?"

"Oh, he never told you about that?"

"No"

"Oh"

Bobby and Jamie run towards them.

"Professor! You're here!" They both shouted

"Hello, young Jamie. Have you got the hang of your power yet?" the Professor asked.

"Yep" Jamie made a double of himself and shook it's hand "Y'see!" Jamie and the clone shouted.

"And you Bobby, how is your ice going?"

"Excellent, man, look at this!" Bobby frosted up and made a huge ice statue of The Professor.

"That's excellent, you have really improved since I last came here" The Professor said.

"Thanks professor!" They shouted together.

"Hey, guys, Professor, I gotta run!" Roberto said.

"Goodbye, Roberto!" The Professor said.

"Yeah, seeya!" Jamie and Bobby said.

"So, why don't you two get the firworks off my chair, get them ready if you want to" The Professor suggested.

"You brought fireworks?" Jamie asked.

"Wicked!" They both shouted.

They grabbed the fireworks and ran away with them, arguing over them as they went.

Forge was sitting by a fire, looking at the ring in his hand, he jolted up right when he heard the knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Forge asked.

"An old friend" Came the voice.

Forge opened the door a crack and looked out of it, he saw the pointy hat atop a bald head. He smiled and swung the door wide open.

"Professor!" Forge said happily.

"It's always a pleasure, Forge" He smiled.

"Come in, come in, yeesh, I havn't seen you in donkeys years!" Forge laughed "I'll make you a cup of tea" The Professor smiled. Forge left the room.

"Donkeys years?"The Professor whispered to him self, he then followed forge to the kitchen.

"I planned to clear up a bit, but, y'know, inventions first" Forge laughed as he took some blue prints and folded them up.

"Tonights the night, Professor" Forge said excitedly.

"You plan to go through with it then?" The Professor asked.

"Yep, gonna leave for Rivendell this evening, giving everything to my friends here" Forge said, busily clearing up his machines and papers.

"And the ring?" The Professor said seriously.

"What ring?" Forge looked around nervously.

"The one your stroking right now" The Professor pointed to the ring.

Forge looked up and immediately hid his ring behind his back.

"Forge…" The Professor pushed.

"Fine, I'm giving it to Roberto" Forge said, holding the ring out again.

"Roberto?"

"He seems like the most reliable"

"If you're sure"

Forge looked out the window. " I am"

That evening was wild beyond belief, food, ale and dancing. The Professor was lighting fireworks, while everyone was else was dancing wildly. Forge is showing his newest invention.

"This taps into your mind and shows you what you most desire, any volunteers?" Forge gestured towards the audience.

"Go on, Ray!" Pushed Bobby.

"Mr.Crisp, step up here please". Ray walked onto the stage. "Just slide this helmet on" Forge placed a large silver helmet on hist head, on the monitor it came up with a picture of a stuffed pig winking at him.

"Ray, you strange person" Forge said, patting his shoulder, Ray stepped down, with everyone laughing at him.

"Anyone else?"

Meanwhile, Roberto and Sam were sitting by the bar drinking. Sam was watching Amara dance.

"Heavenly" Sam said to himself

"What was that?" Roberto asked.

"Oh nothing"

"You said something" Roberto looked over at Amara "And I think I know what it was"

"Oh yeah, well" Sam stuttered.

"Go on, Sam, ask her for a dance" Roberto took a big gulp of his drink.

"Nah, think I'll just have another coke, Barman…"Sam started.

"Oh no, your not getting out of it _that_ easily" Roberto pushed Sam off his seat, and into the dance. He began to laugh.

"Sam, care to dance?" Amara asked.

"Oh…well….sure" He smiled nervously.

Roberto carried on laughing as Sam attempted to dance.

Bobby stuck his head out of a tent and quickly looked around.

"Coasts clear, Jamie" He whispered.

"You sure?" Jamie asked, also sticking his head out of the tent.

"You see anyone?" Bobby said.

Bobby pushed Jamie out the tent, Jamie climbed on top of a wagon filled with fireworks.

"Which one should I get?" Jamie asked, hurriedly looking through the rockets.

"The biggest one there" He looked around again. "Hurry up!"

Jamie picked up a huge red rocket with a finley carved dragons head on top of it. Jamie looks at Bobby excitedly.

"That's perfect! Now come down!" Bobby shouted. Jamie quickly jumped down and hurried back into the tent.

"Jamie get the matches" Bobby hurried out.

Jamie got the matches and lit the fuse, he smiled up and Bobby who didn't notice.

"It's lit!" Said Jamie proudly.

"What?" Bobby shouted "Your supposed to put it in the ground!"

"It is in the ground!"

"Outside!" BANG!

The firework shot upwards through the tent with orange ,firey sparks shooting every which way. When it reached the sky it exploded and a huge dragon appeared, with flames roaring out of it's mouth. It then dissapated, a loud cheer formed from below.

"That was fantastic!" Bobby said.

"Yeah!" Agreed Jamie. "Let's get another one"

Jamie and Bobby got up and were in mid step when they froze.

"Robert Drake and Jamie Madrox, I should have known" The professor wheeled closer to them.

The Professor was sitting by a table drinking fine wine, Jamie and many of his clones were behind him doing the washing up while Bobby was putting the things away. They all stopped when they heard Forge speak up.

"Hey guys, I would like to say a few things" Somewhere in the audience Roberto tapped his glass with his spoon. "Thank you, I, uh, well….I've delayed this thing for quite a long time now…and …I shall not do it any longer…I have to go now friends"

Roberto looked at him strangley.

"Goodbye" Forge slipped the ring on his finger and he instantly vanished.

There were many gasps in the audience, Jamie fainted.

Meanwhile the invisible Forge hurried back to his house, he pushed open his front door, and started packing his bags, he placed his inventions in a bag, grabbed his coat and walked out, just as he left the front door, he froze.

"I suppose you think that was extraordiary clever!" Xavier said, scowling at him.

"Oh come on, Professor, it was just a bit of fun. Lighten up, man!" Forge turned around innocently.

"They are many powerful rings out there, Forge, none of them should be taken 'lightly'!" The Profssor said, still scowling.

"Aww….I suppose your right, as us ual" Forge looked out the door "Goodbye, Professor" Forge took one step.

"Forge, the ring is still in your pocket" Xavier said, plainly. Forge turned around slowly and fished around his pocket. He drew out the ring.

"Heh… funny thing, that, huh?" Forge held out his shaking hand, and hesitated. Xavier looked at him curiously. Forge smiled at him, and dropped the ring.

"Goodbye" Forge almost whispered. He walked down the road, singing to himself.

Xavier turned from the door, and looked at the ring. He tried to pick it up but a huge eye flashed infront of his eyes. He wheeled backwards, shocked.

Meanwhile, Roberto and Sam were just leaving the bar.

"Hey Amara! Seeya round babe!" Shouted Ray, who was obviously drunk. Sam looked angrilly at him.

"Hey, Sam, Amara knows a stupid guy when she sees one, leave it alone" Roberto patted his back, and walked on ahead.

"Does she?"

Roberto looked at the front door, it was left open, it was almost never left open. He then spotted the ring, he bent down and picked it up.

"He's gone hasn't he?" Roberto asked, knowing Xavier was there.

"Yes, he's gone to stay with the elves" Xavier said, smoking his pipe.

"He always said he was going to leave, I just, never thought he would" Roberto said.

"The rings yours now, by the way, he's left you and your friends everything, but you, you get the ring" Xavier said holding out an envelope, Roberto dropped the ring into it.

"Now speaking of leaving, I have to go aswell" Xavier placed his hat atop his head, and made his way to the front door.

"You only just arrived!" Roberto said after him.

"I have urgent buisness in Gondor, I will see you soon!" Xavier left down the road.

Xavier wheeled across snow and across mountain, through tree and fog. Until he reached, Minas Tirith! He hurried through the corridors and into the deep basment of the city. He read through old maps and scrolls, with great worry in his eyes until..

"Hey I found Waldo!"

"Cut!" Screamed the director

Behind the Scenes….

"Professor, what the hell are you doing?"

"I couldn't resist, I'm sorry" He bowed his head down.

"Okay, action!" The Director screamed again.

On with the film!…..

Deep within the realms of Mordor they had captured the creature Toad and tortured him for many hours, only to divulge two words…

"Bayville!…..DaCosta!"

Nine riders of black shot through the powerful gates of Minas Morgul, and headed for the peacful town, of Bayville High!

"See you tommorrow, Sam" Roberto closed the door, behind it Xavier sat there, his hat drooping over his face.

"Is it secret? Is it safe?"

"Yes"

"Thank god!"

"That's not in the script!" Shouted the Director off camera.

"I kept it safe" Roberto held out the envelope. Xavier snatched it off him and threw ot on the fire.

"What are you doing?" Shouted Roberto.

Xavier said nothing, he watched the paper burn into nothing, and watched the ring with great interest. He picked up a pair of tongs and lifted the ring out of the fire.

"Hold out your hand" Xavier said, Roberto looked worried "It's quite cool"

Roberto did so, and Xavier dropped it on his hand.

"Now do you see any markings? Anything at all?" Xavier asked.

"Nope" Roberto said, but then, orange markings surrounded the ring "Wait, yes, some…foreign language, I can't understand it"

"There are very few who can" Xavier said seriously.

"Can you?" Roberto asked dumbly.

"…….yes" Xavier looked serious still. "It reads in the common tongue:

One ring to rule them all,

One ring to find them,

One ring to bring them all,

And in the darkness, Bind them!" The Professor sang.

"It would have been more atmospheric of you didn't sing it to the 'Happy Birthday' tune" Roberto put his hands on his hips.

"It might have been" Xavier put his hands together. "Anyway, I searched for the creature Toad, for many hours, but the enemy found him first, they tortured him violently for a long time, he said two words….Bayville….DaCosta!"

"That will lead them here! We have got to hide the ring, I'll bury it!" Roberto shoured.

"No, that will not work, I'm afraid you need leave Bayville high, riders of black head this way, and if it is not gone soon, then it will be to late" Xavier said. There was slight rustling outside the window.

"Go down" Xavier said, Roberto stayed on the floor, Xavier picked up a stick and THWACK!

"Ouch!" Sam shouted.

"Samuel Guthrie were you eaves dropping!" Xavier shouted.

"I wasn't dropping no ease sir, promise!" Sam cried "Please, Professor, don't turn me into anything….unnatural!"

Roberto and Xavier looked at eachother.

"No, I think I have a better use for you!" Xavier said, evilly.

"This Stuff is heavy!" Sam whined as he walked down a steep path.

"This gear is nothing! Just feel that sun man, it totally juices me, yeah! You don't look so good" Roberto shouted.

"Hmph!" Sam snorted.

"Alright, I shall meet you both in Bree, at the inn of the Prancing Pony!" Xavier said hurriedly, then he flicked a switch on his wheelchair marked 'hyper' he pressed it and zoomed out of sight. Sam and Roberto stood there staring wide-eyed.

"How far is Bree anyway?" Sam said, sweating like a pig.

"I don't know" Roberto said, Sam stayed back. "Sam what is it?"

"One more step, master DaCosta, and it'll be the furthest I've ever been from home" Sam stood staring into the cornfields ahead.

"Sam, we're still in Bayville high, what could possibly go wrong?" Roberto said patronislingly.

"Look out!" Two familiar voice s screamed, as both Sam and Roberto were slammed to the floor.

"We said look out!" Bobby said, picking up some carrots and corn.

"Take these!" Jamie said, shoving a bunch of corn into Sam's hands.

"You've been in Farmer Fury's crop!" Sam shouted

"You scoundrals! I'll have your heads for this" Shouted the angery S.H.I.E.L.D agent,

Behind the Scenes…… 

"How come I only play a farmer with three lines?" Nick Fury asked.

"Because you were late for the auditions!" The Director said firmly.

"But I'm the agent of S.H.E.I.L.D." He whined.

"What do you want a medal?" Roberto snorted

"I've already got twelve" Nick said plainly.

"Yeah…well….yeah" Roberto tried to think of something clever to say "Upyours!" Swish! Roberto thought.

"Can we please carry on with the picture!" The Director shouted "Action!"

On with the film! 


End file.
